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My name is Ben McInnis, and I am a lifelong resident of Rhode Island on the east coast of the United States. I am a re-married father of four and work as a Public Safety Officer at a local university.
I believe I am called to be a Christian leader, even in spite of myself. For much of my life, I studied the occult, comparative religions, and philosophies, and I practiced magic. My family was nominally Christian and rarely attended church. As a child, I was frequently bullied by my peers and sought anything that gave me a sense of power and control. From the age of 11 until I had my first child at 26, I explored every spiritual path I could find. Christianity, with all its perceived rules and restrictions, held little appeal for me—it seemed to stand in the way of fulfilling my desires.
Everything changed with the birth of my daughter and the witness of several Christian co-workers. In 1999, I received Jesus as my Savior. Not long after, I felt a calling to ministry. However, my own fear and impatience overwhelmed me. I faced opposition from my then-wife and lacked the courage to stand firm in my faith. Four years later, I turned away from God and fell back into my old ways.
Recently, God gave me a wake-up call. My youngest child came out as transgender, and I struggled to accept them as they were. This, combined with conflict between my ex-wife and my current wife, left me feeling completely broken. At my lowest point, I mourned the fact that my child didn’t feel safe in my home. In that moment of despair, I heard Jesus calling to me in my heart.
I was stunned. After so many years of turning away from Him, I felt His love surround me and lift me out of my darkness. I realized that, even when I tried to run from Him, He had never left or forsaken me. That night, I rededicated my life to Jesus.
This experience humbled me like nothing else in my life. God’s forgiveness and mercy are truly boundless. His love extends to everyone—even someone like me.
My spiritual dream is to serve Him. I feel God leading me toward a home-based ministry with my wife, who was a youth pastor and worship leader at a church in Texas before we got married. While this dream is still in its early stages, I trust that God will guide us and take us far beyond anything I can imagine.
Each day, God becomes more real to me. As I read His Word, I gain deeper insights into who He is. When I pray, I feel His presence and guidance. The fear that once controlled me has been replaced by peace. While I still face struggles, I know that God will never fail me.
I hope to use the training I receive through Christian Leaders Institute to equip myself to serve and equip others. I have a passion for teaching and mentoring, and I trust that God will use these gifts for His glory.
The fact that CLI offers free, high-quality education is truly a blessing from God. My wife and I are gradually rebuilding our financial stability, as three of my children still live at home. While we have two incomes, there isn’t enough to afford a formal seminary education. CLI provides me with the opportunity to grow in my calling without adding a financial burden to my family